What General McChrystal heard: "Over 3 months ago you asked for 40,000 troops. I and my other hand-picked roomful of REMFs sat around and tried to figure out how I could appear to support your request and still not support it. Here's what we came up with: I'll loan you 30,000 and ask our NATO allies to send the other 10,000. Being NATO and therefore of no common will or commitment, they won't send that many, so I'll have at least two built-in ways to blame you and them should you fail in your assigned mission. I'll send the troops to you in piddling installments over a period of about six months, and then I'll start taking them away again. In a year and a half you won't have any troops. And in the meantime, you'd better sound convincingly pleased with my plan, and save my ass by finding some way to announce victory no matter the real outcome."
What Afghan Leadership heard: "You people have been lazy and timid and worthless as both political practitioners and overseers of your country's internal security. You've got a year and a half to figure out how to survive our departure, because that's when the Taliban will no longer meet military resistance from the United States. Good luck."
What the Taliban heard: "Honored Colleagues: Please withdraw the majority of your forces to secure locations, and take the next year and a half to recruit, train, re-arm and rebuild. At the end of that time we will announce victory, then you will be free to do as you wish with Afghanistan. In the meantime, though, in order to maintain my personal credibility - important to you, I assure you - we will conduct periodic raids and military strikes upon some of your lesser outlying assets. But don't worry too much, because these raids will be mostly for show, so that back in the US I can appear to be doing something of value. You shouldn't suffer too badly from these photo-op military actions because I will ensure that our troops are severely limited by imposing such strict Rules of Engagement (ROE) that few will dare even pull a trigger. So rest easy, my friends, and plan for the glorious future - a future of Afghanistan, free of American military presence."
What the Afghan citizen heard: "You'd better get rid of any ideas you might have about being helpful to American or allied troops over the next year and a half, because after we leave the Taliban will cut your nuts off and feed them to your daughters before they rape them as punishment for helping us."
What the American citizen heard: "Blah, blahblah, blah de blah blah . . . How do I look? Am I pretty? Do I look stalwart and determined? Do I . . . I . . . I . . . blahblahblah."
What his West Point audience heard: "You future war criminals are going to listen to me attentively because this is an important photo op for me, your commander in chief. Using you as background window dressing for my speech will make my American electorate sob with patriotic pride. But just in case your enthusiasm is less than total, we're taking lots of video and photos of you during my speech, and any of you who don't have smiles on your faces can expect to find your futures a little less bright. So applaud and cheer, you baby killers."
What the troops in the field heard: "I'm not interested in winning or even fighting. I'm interested in appearing to fight and win. Some of you will have to die for that to happen. But that's what you get paid for, so get at it. It's important for my image."
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