Wednesday, April 28, 2010

ANOTHER INTERVIEW (I WISH)

Goldman Sachs Representative to Senate panel:

"Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to set the record straight on what this panel has called 'sh__ty deal' investment vehicles which, this panel would have the press believe, were both designed to fail and marketed in some shady way to unsuspecting clients and customers.

"As this panel well knows, or should, all investment vehicles must pass SEC scrutiny before they can be offered to the public. That includes information on how they are to be marketed, and their risks. This was, and is, the case with any investments offered by my firm. While we are in the business of making our clients and customers richer and more financially secure, something we do very well judging by our list of satisfied clients, we freely - even cheerfully - acknowledge that some investments are more secure than others. We offer a wide range of investment vehicles of all categories, all of which have passed through the SEC first for evaluation and approval, and all of which are described in detail for the benefit of any client who might be considering an investment.

"We stand ready to participate in any SEC re-evaluation of our methods, policies, or products, confident that any such re-evaluation will not only exonerate us of these charges but will applaud our diligent conformity to their rules and governance. The SEC has published rules and is the proper body to determine the quality of our diligence. Sadly, the same cannot be said for this panel.

"By definition any Senate investigation panel is about politics. In a heavily partisan panel such as this one, that includes posturing, rhetoric of questionable content and quality, back-handed name calling, and the harvesting of political points at the expense of the person or entity represented on this side of the table. This is not the place to explore conformity with published policy or governance rules; that is the purview of the experts at the SEC. We submit to this panel's chest-thumping and allusions to unwritten law because that is our duty as responsible citizens and businesses in this great country. So ask your questions and make your points, now that our statement is part of the record of these proceedings.

"Thank you."



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

YOU MIGHT BE AN AMERICAN SCUMBAG IF . . . (Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

- You pay no taxes (that means someone else is paying your rightful share)
- You receive any form of government support greater than your contribution to that support
- You've been 'between jobs' more than 3 years
- You think a lottery ticket is an investment in the future
- Someone else is feeding your kids
- You think that the wealthy should give you some of their money
- You think success is mostly luck
- You think you have a right to a home, a car, a job, privacy, a cell phone, HDTV, your health, or anything else that needs to be paid for
- You think work is for suckers who don't know how to work the system
- You think doing your duty to your country is allowing them to support you and your spawn
- You pay no taxes, or you have no job, or you have no home, but you vote
- You think the First Amendment allows you to say what you want, but those with differing opinions need to be 'regulated'
- You think you're not a racist and you voted for a 'black' to prove it
- You take from your country, but you don't give to it (we're not talking taxes here)
- You think Oprah, Jerry Springer, Sean Penn or anyone else in Hollywood are astute political visionaries

Enjoy that? Your Ostrich Killer certainly did. Did I miss anything? Drop a comment and tell me what else belongs on this list.