Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Marshawn, Belichick, and the NFL Soap Opera

Put ME in Charge!

Marshawn, we all love how you run.  But we deplore your hypocrisy.  You have a charity to benefit the youth of the neighborhood you came from.  But what message are you sending them when:
1.  You ignore what you promised to do when you signed your contract with the NFL (you promised to make yourself available to the media but you do not);
2.  You arrogantly walk into the end zone knowing perfectly well that is taunting and should have, in the playoffs, cost your team a touchdown and fifteen yards;
3.  You grab your crotch when you score, even though you've been fined for that before.

This behavior is telling those youth you claim you care about that the rules don't apply to you, that your word (your signature) means nothing because you're talented and bad and whatever.  Is that really what you want them to take away from your success? That the rich and talented don't have to live by the rules?  That rules and agreements can be broken if you think it's cool to do so?  

If I were the NFL I would sit you for the second half of the Superbowl game as a penalty.  But more on the ineptitude of the NFL later.

Underinflated balls?  Really?  And this AFTER spy gate?  Those balls were provided by the Patriot organization.  Penalize the organization in some meaningful, painful way.  Not just a fine.  The quarterback, at least, knew they were underinflated because he handled them every snap.  For his failure to report the problem, suspend him the next game (the superbowl) with loss of both game pay and superbowl bonus.  Each receiver knew, if they caught balls, that the balls were underinflated.  They elected not to report it.  Bench them for the next game.  Ditto the running backs.

However, money talks.  The superbowl is BIG money for the NFL, so what they will do is invent some harsh-sounding but essentially meaningless and non-crippling punishment.  The superbowl will not be impacted.

So put your Ostrich Killer in charge of NFL discipline.  Here's what I would do:
1.  Develop, implement, and enforce a standard penalty system for infractions.  No more making it all up as we go along, as the NFL seems to be doing.  For example, intentionally breach your contract (like Marshawn does) and suffer an automatic one game suspension - the next game - along with the loss of that game's pay.  Next infraction the penalties double, and include your coaches.  Each subsequent infraction penalty doubles the previous one.
2.  Any felony investigation seats that player with pay until either a verdict is returned or charges are not pressed.
3.  Get rid of 'special' offense penalties - examples include domestic violence, DUI, etc - and let the legal system handle them.  See the next rule for more on this.
4.  Have a clause in all contracts with players and anyone else working for the NFL that "conduct unbecoming to you, your team, or the NFL" is grounds for firing.  A board made up of ex-military officers (who are very familiar with the 'conduct unbecoming' meaning) would preside over any appeals.  This particular clause is about NFL image, and if I'm commissioner of the NFL I want that to shine.  Children are watching, after all, and are easily impressed.  What will they learn?  That everyone has to follow rules and obey laws, or that talent and revenue stream trumps all?

Are you as tired of the NFL soap opera and amateurish handling of misconduct as your Ostrich Killer is?  Then send Roger Goodell a link to this blog post.

It's too late for coffee.  I think I saw a beer in the refrigerator . . .

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The Ferguson Experiment

Who Will Show Up?

The authorities investigating the shooting of a black thug in Ferguson, Missouri are about to release their findings.  These authorities include federal snoops, federal race baiters from the DOJ, grand juries, and even the DA's office.

They have tried strenuously to find fault with the officer who shot that thug.  According to rumors, they have failed to uncover any violations or culpability, and their release of these findings is expected any day now.

Many expect there to be riots in the streets.  By whom?

Not by anyone who cares about the rule of law, that's certain.  No, if there are riots, they will be by the following types of people:
1.  Kool-aid drinking followers of the professional race baiters (the Sharptons, Farrakhans, and Jacksons, for example.  Oh, and let's not forget the Race Baiter in Chief, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama who sent three DOJ officials to convey his condolences at the funeral of that thug.  It's easy to determine where his sympathies lie.)
2.  People looking for an excuse to steal from businesses.
3.  People looking for an excuse to get away with property destruction and personal violence.
4.  People angry that someone doesn't give them for free what someone else worked to earn.

What do the above types of people have in common, speaking statistically here - acknowledging there will be some exceptions?
1.  They would not be rioting if the thug had been white.
2.  The rule of law does not matter to them.  What matters is skin color and opportunities to loot.
3.  Aside from the professional race baiters, the crowd will be predominantly made up of the functionally illiterate, the unemployed, public school graduates and drop-outs, and - dare I say it? - black.

If the above predictions come about, and I hope they do not - then the black community at large will have to answer for their failure to find constructive ways to address the racism within their own ranks, and cure it.

Will they?  

Thursday, September 11, 2014


Let's Look At This Logically

You knew your beloved Ostrich Killer would step up and figure this out for the rest of the world, didn't you?  Okay, you were right.  So for the folks who never read this blog, here is how things are:

First, we have Roger Goodell saying to the best of his knowledge, before Monday no one in the NFL Commissioner's office received or had seen the tape we've all seen now.

Next, we have a 'police official' saying that he sent the tape to the NFL Commissioner's office, and he plays a 12-second tape of a conversation that he says proves someone - a female - in the commissioner's office had watched it.

Here are the choices:
1.  Both are lying.  This is actually impossible, as a moment's thought will make obvious.  So let's reject this possibility.
2.  The 'police official' is lying.  If so, then the taped phone conversation is also a fake.  
3.  Roger Goodell is lying.
4.  Neither is lying.

Your Ostrich Killer is coming down on the side of saying that the truth lies behind door number 4 - neither is lying.

Why?  Goodell is an honorable person, based solely on his record.  One has to assume that a police official would also be honorable.  So if both are being truthful, what actually happened?

Someone in the NFL Commissioner's office short-stopped that video.  And my money is on the guess that this person is the source of the video that wound up in the hands of TMZ, probably for a high price.

Anyone who has ever worked in a large organization knows perfectly well that information does not always flow freely, due either to negligence or agenda-polishing - an agenda such as lining one's pockets, as is likely in this case.  

There you have it.  When this is all sorted out, here is what you will see:

1.  A person in the NFL Commissioner's office will be identified as the person who failed either purposely or negligently to forward that video to Roger Goodell.  That person will be fired.  Anyone else in the commissioner's office who knew of the video will be fired.  The head of that particular department in the commissioner's office will be fired.
2.  Roger Goodell, being honorable, will offer his resignation because a leader is responsible for all an organization's successes and failures.  It is not a sure thing that the owners will accept his resignation.  If he did not lie, where is his failure?
3.  TMZ will raise their advertising rates.

See?  Simple.  Three cups of coffee is a true clarifier.  You're welcome.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014



1.  Michael Sam
The Dallas Cowboys picked him up and put him on their practice squad.  Why?  Yes, it is true that the Cowboys are bereft of talent.  But there are dozens or even hundreds of released players who could have been chosen for that same position.  Why Sam?  Unpleasant rumors abound that the NFL brought discreet pressure to bear for SOMEONE to pick him up.  If so, why?  Your Ostrich Killer has a possible answer - and it is one word: pandering.  Your Ostrich Killer has another question: what incentives were offered to the team that picked him up, if in fact the NFL did bring pressure to bear?  Your Ostrich Killer hopes these rumors are unfounded and that Sam made the squad on his merits, but it will take someone more credible than the NFL's disgraced commissioner or hired mouthpieces to convince me that the NFL is NOT engaging in player selection and social engineering, neither of which is appropriate.

2. Ray Rice
The NFL knew.  They were dragged kicking and screaming to doing the right thing after the rest of the world saw the video and left them no other choice.  Ditto the Ravens.  So now not only Rice, but his wife - his fiancee in the video, who forgave him and married him afterward - are being severely punished.  Part of your Ostrich Killer cynically thinks that she is being punished as severely as he is.  Isn't she?  The NFL has reached a low.

3. Ray McDonald
Felony domestic violence against his pregnant fiancee.  49ers say they will allow him to play until the legal system makes it impossible to play him.  The DA has not announced whether or not there will be charges.  Don't expect any announcement to come soon; this is a situation where it pays to drag the legal feet, if you're a 49er fan.  Not saying the DA is such a fan, but I'm saying this decision seems to be taking an inordinate amount of time, and one cannot help but wonder why.  How is McDonald different than Ray Rice?  McDonald has not been convicted in a court of law like Rice was.  Again, the NFL is SILENT and not smelling like a rose here.  And Hey Jim - show some character and don't play him.

4.  Drug Rules
This is easy, so I'll write it for the NFL:  Any federally illegal substance found during testing will result in immediate suspension for the next eight games, no matter how high or low the concentration.  Second offenses will result in automatic suspension for rest of the calendar year and the following full season including playoffs.  Other specified 'federally legal' substances (such as HGH) are also prohibited and violation penalties are the same as the illegal substance punishments.  Don't like this rule?  Then as a player, don't sign the collective bargaining agreement.  Go sell used cars in Washington state instead, the standards are lower there.

This sort of rule will help set an example worthy for children to emulate.  Note to NFL players:  watch who you hang out with.  Second-hand or 'spiked' anything will not be an excuse.

Really, NFL.  Remember that kids are watching.  Get the sport clean, keep it clean, set a shining example and boot the assholes out of it.

Third cup of coffee is ready now.  Out here.  You're welcome.

Monday, August 25, 2014



Guns and Crime:
  Story A:  Crime at all time low!
  Story B:  Gun Ownership way up!
   Hmmmm . . . .

  Story A:  Another Common Variety Street Thug Dead!
  Story B:  Race Baiter in Chief sends 3 Representatives to the funeral!
  Story C:  Race Baiter in Chief sent 0 Representatives to Margaret Thatcher's funeral!
  Story D:  Race Baiter in Chief sent 0 Representatives to beheaded journalist's funeral!
   Hmmmm . . . .

  Story A:  Obama Tells Putin:  Sending anything into Ukraine, including 'humanitarian aid', will be viewed by the US as an invasion!
  Story B:  Putin sends in stuff anyway!
    Hmmmmm . . . .

  Story A:  Carter to Deliver Keynote Address at Muslim Convention in Detroit!
   Story B:  Hamas begs the Race Baiter in Chief to stop the 'holocaust' in Gaza!
    Hmmmm . . . .

Burger King:
  Story A:  Burger King considers moving to Canada to reduce corporate taxes!
  Story B:  Race Baiter in Chief calls Burger King and companies like them 'corporate deserters who renounce their citizenships to shield profits!'  (Ostrich Killer comment:  the purpose of any business is to profit.  Ask their shareholders.  Duh.)
  Story C:  Burger King would save 46% on its corporate taxes by moving to Canada!
  Story D:  (prediction:  Burger King stock soars after move to Canada.  Other fast food companies study Burger King model.)
    Hmmmm . . . .

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright:
  Story A:  The Race Baiter in Chief's pastor for more than 20 years, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright,  says "God Damn America!"
  Story B:  The Reverend Wright's Daughter convicted of embezzling 'my brother's keeper' taxpayer-provided money.  
     Hmmmm . . . .

Do you doubt any of the above?  Does some of it seem simply absurd?  Google it.  See for yourself.

Sometimes the news just begs for this sort of fun story comparisons.  Time for a beer.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014


A Man's Sport In Decline

During a pre-season game a few days ago your Ostrich Killer observed with surprise that one of the officials had tucked a pony tail up beneath the official's hat.  His surprise increased when he discovered that the official was a female.  He immediately wondered what every other red-blooded male wondered: how many snaps has she taken under center?  How many runs up the middle has she made?  How many downfield blocks has she thrown?  How many times has she been sacked?

Then your Ostrich Killer wondered if part of the qualification criteria for any NFL official candidate includes a personal history of having played football for a few years in order to have a player's insights into the game.  I don't know the answer to that, but if officials are NOT required to have played football, then of course there's no reason - other than the mothering / nurturing instinct - a female could not be such an official.  A game being regulated by officials who've never played the game has obvious issues.

Which brings us to another topic: the Richard Sherman Nullification order coming out of the NFL head office.  That order is why you are seeing so many 'illegal contact' and 'holding' calls against pass defenders this pre-season.  Penalties per game are up dramatically since last year's preseason - about double - and more since a handful of years ago.  

I don't know about most NFL game viewers, but when your Ostrich Killer watches a game where yellow flags fall out of the sky like snowflakes he starts channel surfing.  If your Ostrich Killer isn't alone in his boredom / disgust, the NFL might notice viewership numbers that don't quite reach their targets.  And that would be a good thing.

One last thought: the NFL Richard Sherman Nullification order is a guaranteed first down getter for struggling offenses.  Here's how it goes in the huddle:  "Okay guys, we need a first down.  All you receivers go out, and when you get ten yards down the field juke and swerve sneakily so that the pass defender runs into you.  That'll draw an illegal contact flag against the defender, and we'll make five yards and an automatic first down.  On Three!"

Your Ostrich Killer officially predicts this unless the NFL modifies its order.  Watch and see.  And then start channel surfing, because football is dying and it will be too painful to watch it being de-testosteroned.


Protester, Vandal, Looter

The situation in Ferguson and many others in prior history indicate that some clear distinctions are necessary concerning the above three categories of actions.  As usual, your clear-thinking and eloquent Ostrich Killer will say some things no one else is saying but everyone else is thinking, and in the process enlighten all those who never read this blog, and amuse those of you who do read this blog.  Enjoy.  LMK if you have thoughts on the matter.  So let's start.

PROTESTER: This sort of individual carries a sign and / or walks around chanting slogans.  He / she is usually accompanied by others doing similarly.  Disposition of these sorts of people:  Leave them alone to protest, so long as they don't interfere with others going about their daily activities.

VANDAL:  A vandal intentionally damages private and / or public property.  This sort of damage may include things like spray painting, breaking windows, knocking over parking meters, etc.  Often protests have a few vandals in their midst, especially if the protest is being held by liberal-thinking organizations / mobs.  Disposition of vandals: arrest them and take them to trial.  Following the trial the injured parties should take them to civil court to collect damages.

LOOTER:  The typical looter is someone who is taking advantage of a protest or riot or other civil unrest to enrich himself by stealing merchandise.  Often he / she will first vandalize a business or home, breaking in by smashing windows and doors and display cases.  He / she has no interest in the protest or riot, but pretends otherwise as he / she uses them for cover as he / she staggers out of the store under the weight of that new 55" TV or that ATM they just ripped out of the wall.  He / she is just a common thief and a detriment to society.  The proper disposition of looters:  Police should shoot them where they stand, being careful not to hit that 55" TV.  If the police are unable to shoot them all (run out of ammo, for example) the property owners should shoot them.  There would be no daily bag limit on looters, although there would need to be irrefutable proof of looting.  Today's web-linked video security cameras would be one source of such proof.  The savvy business or home owner will have such systems set up and operating, for the same reason the savvy hunter first obtains a hunting license.

There.  Not only has your Ostrich Killer defined terms, he has also provided a bonus: a practical primer to police departments and business owners everywhere.

You're welcome, all of you.  Now my second cup of coffee needs attention.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Another Common-Variety Street Thug Dead

Ho Hum.

Headline news: Police shoot and kill a robbery suspect.  The idiot suspect first assaulted, then escaped briefly, then turned and charged back at the police officer.  The police officer, after suffering a serious eye injury during the assault, shot him.  Reportedly more than a dozen witnesses confirm the injured officer's account of events.

But is that particularly news-worthy?

Frankly, it isn't.  Happens pretty often.  Shot resisting arrest after assaulting a police officer carrying out his duties.  Local news, if that.  

But wait!  The suspect was black.  


The police officer was white.

Oh.  Well that calls for deploying the professional race baiters (you know who they are - Jackson, Sharpton, Farrakhan, Chris Matthews and most of the liberal national media, and our attorney general Eric Holder) and the common-variety wannabe street thugs looking for any excuse to break into stores and steal merchandise and an ATM.  Anyone know how much money is inside an ATM?

I thought police were supposed to shoot looters.  That's the proper disposition of looters.  But I guess they've delegated that responsibility to the store owners. 

But back to the demise of Mr. Michael Brown.  He was eighteen, and aside from his sealed juvenile record, he was arrested last November for armed robbery and assault causing serious physical injury during the robbery.  

Sounds familiar.  Sounds in-character.

Every day blacks die during the commission of a crime.  The vast majority of them die at the hands of other blacks.  According to most recent stats, for every black killed by a white policeman, 60 are killed by other blacks.  Sharpton, Jackson, Farrakhan and Holder and the media are nowhere to be found following those events.  But let a thug die while assaulting a non-black police officer - well, I think you can figure it out.

There's money and political capital to be made by fanning the flames of racial tensions.  

Why is the color of skin so important?  Why couldn't the news headline, run in a local (because the story is not important enough to make the national news) newspaper on the third page, say something like "Robbery Suspect Killed During Assault on Police Officer" and let the matter rest there?  Because all evidence points to that situation being exactly what happened.

What happened to a media that reported the news, instead of inventing it?

I have the hopefully overly cynical suspicion that the media won't be satisfied until they can run a headline that reads something like "Police Officer Who Killed Michael Brown Hunted Down.  He and Family Slain by Black Mob."  Remembering the Tawana Brawley and Zimmerman stories and comparing them to this drags your Ostrich Killer to that cynical suspicion.  The similarities are just too compelling.  Why else publish the officer's name?  Why else publish maps to his home?

A common variety street thug is dead.  That's good for his neighborhood and society in general.  I can't wait for the tox screen to come back on him.  My guess is crank or PCP.  And I can't wait to hear what the professional race-baiters have to say about it then.  My guess is they'll keep their mouths shut.

My guess is also that both Rush and Michael Medved will speak dispassionately and logically on the matter, and be accused of racism by the race-baiters and their butt-kissing swarms of drones.

I need a second cup of coffee.  Your Ostrich Killer out for now.