THIS JUST IN!
Guns and Crime:
Story A: Crime at all time low!
Story B: Gun Ownership way up!
Hmmmm . . . .
Ferguson:
Story A: Another Common Variety Street Thug Dead!
Story B: Race Baiter in Chief sends 3 Representatives to the funeral!
Story C: Race Baiter in Chief sent 0 Representatives to Margaret Thatcher's funeral!
Story D: Race Baiter in Chief sent 0 Representatives to beheaded journalist's funeral!
Hmmmm . . . .
Ukraine:
Story A: Obama Tells Putin: Sending anything into Ukraine, including 'humanitarian aid', will be viewed by the US as an invasion!
Story B: Putin sends in stuff anyway!
Hmmmmm . . . .
Islam:
Story A: Carter to Deliver Keynote Address at Muslim Convention in Detroit!
Story B: Hamas begs the Race Baiter in Chief to stop the 'holocaust' in Gaza!
Hmmmm . . . .
Burger King:
Story A: Burger King considers moving to Canada to reduce corporate taxes!
Story B: Race Baiter in Chief calls Burger King and companies like them 'corporate deserters who renounce their citizenships to shield profits!' (Ostrich Killer comment: the purpose of any business is to profit. Ask their shareholders. Duh.)
Story C: Burger King would save 46% on its corporate taxes by moving to Canada!
Story D: (prediction: Burger King stock soars after move to Canada. Other fast food companies study Burger King model.)
Hmmmm . . . .
The Reverend Jeremiah Wright:
Story A: The Race Baiter in Chief's pastor for more than 20 years, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, says "God Damn America!"
Story B: The Reverend Wright's Daughter convicted of embezzling 'my brother's keeper' taxpayer-provided money.
Hmmmm . . . .
Do you doubt any of the above? Does some of it seem simply absurd? Google it. See for yourself.
Sometimes the news just begs for this sort of fun story comparisons. Time for a beer.
A Man's Sport In Decline
During a pre-season game a few days ago your Ostrich Killer observed with surprise that one of the officials had tucked a pony tail up beneath the official's hat. His surprise increased when he discovered that the official was a female. He immediately wondered what every other red-blooded male wondered: how many snaps has she taken under center? How many runs up the middle has she made? How many downfield blocks has she thrown? How many times has she been sacked?
Then your Ostrich Killer wondered if part of the qualification criteria for any NFL official candidate includes a personal history of having played football for a few years in order to have a player's insights into the game. I don't know the answer to that, but if officials are NOT required to have played football, then of course there's no reason - other than the mothering / nurturing instinct - a female could not be such an official. A game being regulated by officials who've never played the game has obvious issues.
Which brings us to another topic: the Richard Sherman Nullification order coming out of the NFL head office. That order is why you are seeing so many 'illegal contact' and 'holding' calls against pass defenders this pre-season. Penalties per game are up dramatically since last year's preseason - about double - and more since a handful of years ago.
I don't know about most NFL game viewers, but when your Ostrich Killer watches a game where yellow flags fall out of the sky like snowflakes he starts channel surfing. If your Ostrich Killer isn't alone in his boredom / disgust, the NFL might notice viewership numbers that don't quite reach their targets. And that would be a good thing.
One last thought: the NFL Richard Sherman Nullification order is a guaranteed first down getter for struggling offenses. Here's how it goes in the huddle: "Okay guys, we need a first down. All you receivers go out, and when you get ten yards down the field juke and swerve sneakily so that the pass defender runs into you. That'll draw an illegal contact flag against the defender, and we'll make five yards and an automatic first down. On Three!"
Your Ostrich Killer officially predicts this unless the NFL modifies its order. Watch and see. And then start channel surfing, because football is dying and it will be too painful to watch it being de-testosteroned.
Protester, Vandal, Looter
The situation in Ferguson and many others in prior history indicate that some clear distinctions are necessary concerning the above three categories of actions. As usual, your clear-thinking and eloquent Ostrich Killer will say some things no one else is saying but everyone else is thinking, and in the process enlighten all those who never read this blog, and amuse those of you who do read this blog. Enjoy. LMK if you have thoughts on the matter. So let's start.
PROTESTER: This sort of individual carries a sign and / or walks around chanting slogans. He / she is usually accompanied by others doing similarly. Disposition of these sorts of people: Leave them alone to protest, so long as they don't interfere with others going about their daily activities.
VANDAL: A vandal intentionally damages private and / or public property. This sort of damage may include things like spray painting, breaking windows, knocking over parking meters, etc. Often protests have a few vandals in their midst, especially if the protest is being held by liberal-thinking organizations / mobs. Disposition of vandals: arrest them and take them to trial. Following the trial the injured parties should take them to civil court to collect damages.
LOOTER: The typical looter is someone who is taking advantage of a protest or riot or other civil unrest to enrich himself by stealing merchandise. Often he / she will first vandalize a business or home, breaking in by smashing windows and doors and display cases. He / she has no interest in the protest or riot, but pretends otherwise as he / she uses them for cover as he / she staggers out of the store under the weight of that new 55" TV or that ATM they just ripped out of the wall. He / she is just a common thief and a detriment to society. The proper disposition of looters: Police should shoot them where they stand, being careful not to hit that 55" TV. If the police are unable to shoot them all (run out of ammo, for example) the property owners should shoot them. There would be no daily bag limit on looters, although there would need to be irrefutable proof of looting. Today's web-linked video security cameras would be one source of such proof. The savvy business or home owner will have such systems set up and operating, for the same reason the savvy hunter first obtains a hunting license.
There. Not only has your Ostrich Killer defined terms, he has also provided a bonus: a practical primer to police departments and business owners everywhere.
You're welcome, all of you. Now my second cup of coffee needs attention.
Ho Hum.
Headline news: Police shoot and kill a robbery suspect. The idiot suspect first assaulted, then escaped briefly, then turned and charged back at the police officer. The police officer, after suffering a serious eye injury during the assault, shot him. Reportedly more than a dozen witnesses confirm the injured officer's account of events.
But is that particularly news-worthy?
Frankly, it isn't. Happens pretty often. Shot resisting arrest after assaulting a police officer carrying out his duties. Local news, if that.
But wait! The suspect was black.
So?
The police officer was white.
Oh. Well that calls for deploying the professional race baiters (you know who they are - Jackson, Sharpton, Farrakhan, Chris Matthews and most of the liberal national media, and our attorney general Eric Holder) and the common-variety wannabe street thugs looking for any excuse to break into stores and steal merchandise and an ATM. Anyone know how much money is inside an ATM?
I thought police were supposed to shoot looters. That's the proper disposition of looters. But I guess they've delegated that responsibility to the store owners.
But back to the demise of Mr. Michael Brown. He was eighteen, and aside from his sealed juvenile record, he was arrested last November for armed robbery and assault causing serious physical injury during the robbery.
Sounds familiar. Sounds in-character.
Every day blacks die during the commission of a crime. The vast majority of them die at the hands of other blacks. According to most recent stats, for every black killed by a white policeman, 60 are killed by other blacks. Sharpton, Jackson, Farrakhan and Holder and the media are nowhere to be found following those events. But let a thug die while assaulting a non-black police officer - well, I think you can figure it out.
There's money and political capital to be made by fanning the flames of racial tensions.
Why is the color of skin so important? Why couldn't the news headline, run in a local (because the story is not important enough to make the national news) newspaper on the third page, say something like "Robbery Suspect Killed During Assault on Police Officer" and let the matter rest there? Because all evidence points to that situation being exactly what happened.
What happened to a media that reported the news, instead of inventing it?
I have the hopefully overly cynical suspicion that the media won't be satisfied until they can run a headline that reads something like "Police Officer Who Killed Michael Brown Hunted Down. He and Family Slain by Black Mob." Remembering the Tawana Brawley and Zimmerman stories and comparing them to this drags your Ostrich Killer to that cynical suspicion. The similarities are just too compelling. Why else publish the officer's name? Why else publish maps to his home?
A common variety street thug is dead. That's good for his neighborhood and society in general. I can't wait for the tox screen to come back on him. My guess is crank or PCP. And I can't wait to hear what the professional race-baiters have to say about it then. My guess is they'll keep their mouths shut.
My guess is also that both Rush and Michael Medved will speak dispassionately and logically on the matter, and be accused of racism by the race-baiters and their butt-kissing swarms of drones.
I need a second cup of coffee. Your Ostrich Killer out for now.
