PLANNING ON COLLEGE, YOUNG CONSERVATIVE MAN?

-- A Strategy for Getting Conservatives Plain and Fancy Laid - -

So.  You're a fine young male with a conservative viewpoint, trying to decide where to go to college.  You've narrowed it down to a half-dozen or so.  Being a healthy male, somewhere in your imagination there's this movie running, starring you and one or more College Girls.  But which of these colleges are most likely to have compliant and / or predatory College Girls?  And how to - well, get to know them?

Your Ostrich Killer will reveal answers to both questions now.  Ready?  Yeah, you are.

Okay.  First, which colleges:  Answer:  The MOST LIBERAL COLLEGE you can find that supports your chosen field of study.  Of the student body, 57% or more will be College Girls.

What?  Liberal?  But you're of a CONSERVATIVE nature! - - Yes, and therein lies the beauty of making such a choice.  Because, you see, liberal College Girls are either lesbians or - you guessed it - liberal.  By far mostly liberal.  And they outnumber you college boys.  They REALLY outnumber conservative college boys, and they probably find liberal college boys boring because they're as stupid as the liberal girls are, and thus present no interesting challenge.

By now you've seen the light.  All that remains to be revealed is your strategy.  Simple:  Make no secret of your conservative views, but also hint that since so many of the students are liberal, you spend much time wondering if your own views need re-thinking.  If you're at all attractive those liberal College Girls will line up to take their shot at enlightening you.  It's their duty, after all, to be persuasive, and it's your duty to ensure they do their duty.  Soon they will be bragging to each other how this one got you to admit (fill in the blanks) or that one got you to change your mind about (fill in the blanks.)  Maybe they'll even share among each other how they managed to achieve those successes.  Allow them those minuscule faux successes, and make promises to think more about other possible successes, and the line will get longer, more imaginative, and more talented.

Somewhere in here you're going to have to attend class, do homework, and acquire a useful skill or knowledge set along with a degree.  So try not to over do it.  You will have to make a living someday.

Your Ostrich Killer has herein dispensed advice that somehow your parents forgot to provide.  You're welcome.  And don't name them after me.

Now, for my second cup of coffee . . .

An Old Fart's Thoughts on Fate and Love

Is it REALLY fate?

By now you regular readers of this irregularly scripted blog know your ostrich killer is a hyper-rational sort.  He does NOT believe in fate or any other deity-directed interventions in the affairs of interpersonal relations.

How, then do we find that 'perfect' one, the soul mate, the love of our life?

If we think about it, most of us will meet at - even a superficial level - on the order of one ten millionth of the world's population.  And from that number somehow we find our perfect mates.  Are we really to believe that somehow some external match maker contrives to put us each - the perfect person for each other - in our presence well enough that we decide on each other?

NO.

We are all capable of love of a wide variety of people.  We humans are vastly flexible, infinitely compassionate, and (most of us) incurably romantic.  It only takes meeting someone, exchanging thoughts and ideas and feelings with someone, to find out if we are intrigued.  From there - well, we all know where it can go from there.  It can happen anywhere, within the population of any assembly.  A college campus.  A workplace.  A church.  A high school.  A neighborhood.  A club.  Anywhere there are people.

It is, in your ostrich killer's life-long observation, the human inclination to fall in love.  It is inevitable if one lives among, and interacts with, people.  So - to those of you who read this blog and are looking for that someone, the way to find that person is to be among people.  I recommend your local church's bake sales, but that is only one possibility.  I don't recommend the local bars.  But that's up to you, of course, and yes there are people there, some of whom might be looking for you.

Be among people.  Meet them, listen to them, and - well, like I said, it's inevitable.

Too late for coffee.  Maybe a third beer?