How to Slim Down a Population

We hear day in and day out how fat we're getting to be as a society. No one seems to have any idea how to prevent that.

Your friendly Ostrich Killer to the rescue!

Here's my plan: At every entrance to every food store or restaurant in America, we place a 'price factor' machine. Here's how it would work: there would be a scale and a vertical ruler. The customer would enter through this machine and be automatically weighed and measured. Depending on his / her weight compared to a healthy norm, he / she would be issued a 'factor' tag. Then they would shop.

At the checkout counter, when their purchases have been rung up they would surrender their 'factor' tag to the checkout person. The factor would be multiplied against the total price rung up.

For example, let's say your Ostrich Killer got a 'factor' tag value of 1.1. At the checkout counter my purchases ring up to $10. I surrender the tag; multiplying $10 times 1.1, my cost would be $11. Or if I had a 'factor' tag value of 1.5, my cost would be $15.

So the fat would be able to afford less food. The skinny would be able to afford more food. Who loses?

Okay, I know. Too simple. So I'm going back to sleep.