OBAMA AND LIBYA - - POLICY? WHAT POLICY? (posted April 11)

Let's see . . . paraphrasing him, we have (in chronological order):

1. "We're going to fire a s--tpot full of cruise missiles, but we're not going to put troops on the ground. No sir, we're not going to put troops on the ground, and that's my final word on the matter. Our objective is to stop the slaughter of innocent rebels by slaughtering Kadhafi military forces."

2. "It's American policy that Kadhafi has to go."

3. "This very limited military action does not have the removal of Kadhafi from office as an objective. But it's our policy that he has to go."

4. "Yes, that was a U.S. Air Force F-15 that crashed in Libya. It had mechanical problems. Sorry I didn't mention we'd be using Air Force and Navy aircraft in this effort."

5. "We apologize for the strafing of friendly rebels by the door gunner on the rescue aircraft retrieving the U.S. Air Crew from the crashed F-15."

6. "We are not going to put American troops on the ground in Libya. Nor is it our objective to force Colonel Kadhafi out of office. That is my position, and I'm sticking to it."

7. "The use of Special Operation troops in Libya will be temporary."

8. "The U.S. has withdrawn all its aircraft from operations over Libya, as the NATO forces have assumed responsibility for all operations including the No Fly zone."

9. "U.S. Air Force fighters under NATO command are being used to help enforce the No Fly zone."

April 15: This just in:

10. "On second thought, we're going to keep bombing until Colonel Kadhafi leaves office. Oh, and those U.S. Air Force fighters helping enforce the No Fly zone in the air? They are also being used to enforce a No Tread zone on the ground, as well as a No Artillery or other Libyan Military Assets zone on the ground."

Does anyone know what American forces are supposed to accomplish in this 'effort?' Can anyone identify just why we're involved at all? Can anyone explain how anyone can believe anything that comes out of Obama's mouth?

Let your friendly Ostrich Killer know.

WHY DEVOUT MUSLIMS ARE SO GRUMPY

You've noticed it. They blow up airplanes. The kill thousands. They wage wars on themselves, and aspire to wage wars on the rest of us.

They are a truly grumpy group of people.

And now I know why. Yes, your Ostrich Killer will share that truth with you, my faithful readers, and the rest of the known universe.

First, a quote from none other than Benjamin Franklin: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Knowing that, can you figure out the rest? Yes? Okay, but I have to explain for those others who aren't as bright as my average readers. So here goes:

The Koran forbids beer or any other alcohol. No exceptions. None.

Now, according to various authorities, there are 1.3 billion Muslims in the world, most of whom either cannot read or are allowed to read ONLY the Koran. Not all of them are devout (meaning not all of them deny themselves a beer now and then,) but many of them are. It is from this devout (non-beer drinking) group that we get the terrorists, the homicide bombers, the ranting lunatics who are always looking for someone else to kill. Clearly, they are not happy people. They are downright grumpy. And what can usually cheer up even the most grumpy of grumps? A chilled liter of beer, or two. It works for me. It works for you. It works for everyone else I know. Why not the followers of Islam?

So your Ostrich Killer has a new recipe for peace in the middle east: millions and millions of cans of beer, dropped out of high-flying airplanes into major cities and other densely populated islamic areas throughout the world.

Yes, one could call this foreign policy the Buy Them a Beer initiative.

Some of you are thinking "This is stupid. It can't be that simple."

Wrong-O! Reflect a moment on history. What civilizations invented numbers? Massive architecture? Huge libraries of knowledge? Yes, that's right: Arabs, mostly Egyptians. Egyptologists tell us that the going rate for a lowly pyramid laborer, back in the days of the Pharaohs, was a gallon of beer a day. Hell, no wonder those pyramids got built! Makes one wonder whether these laborers were really slaves after all. Maybe they just liked beer and volunteered, having little else more interesting to do.

But then along came Mohammed, and the Koran, and the "No Beer and No Fun" rules.

And the world of Islam instantly stopped innovating and inventing, and became stuck in the Bronze age and grew ever more grumpy. And they've been that way ever since. Doubt this? Point to ONE innovation benefiting mankind from followers of Islam in the last 1500 years.

The Beer Initiative. Think it over, then write your congress people. Email the white house. Set up a beer stand outside your local mosque, if you can find one.

My Dream Party's Political Platform

We all have fantasies about what we'd like our favorite political personality to say. I'm no different. So, since this is my blog, I'm going to outline my dream party's political platform. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying putting it down on paper.

1. Domestic Policy: Leave people the hell alone. Stay out of their lives, stay out of their ways, keep government's hands off their property.
2. Protecting the Poor: This is the land of freedom. Freedom to succeed, freedom to fail. It isn't government's job to enable the poor to remain poor, or the rich to remain rich, or any permutation or combination of those possibilities. See Domestic Policy, above. So let the poor choose: starve, or work. If some bleeding hearts out there think this is inhumane, maybe they could point to the Constitution and show us where it permits the Federal Government to be a charity clearing house, or to take from one person and give to another. Nothing prevents concerned neighbors, communities, families, or bleeding hearts from banding together and volunteering their personal resources to help the poor. But it isn't government's job.
3. Energy: Our country and our economy runs on energy. So cheapest is best, all other things roughly equal. For now and the foreseeable future, cheapest is nuclear. Next is coal. Then oil. Then anything else. Nothing has to be especially polluting, given today's technologies. So we're for nukes, coal and oil. We're also for a robust and energetic research program to see what other sources can be harnessed to produce even cheaper energy, such as fusion, tidal, geothermal, wind, etc. But it's gotta be cheaper, or at least not more expensive.
4. Offshore Drilling: Why drill offshore, when there's lots of oil right under our Red White and Blue dirt? Drilling on land has less chance to pollute, and is easier to clean up if an accident happens. No miles of shoreline are damaged, only a few acres of dirt. So we're for offshore drilling if there is no oil under our dirt, otherwise we should drill right here.
5. Foreign Policy: Our Number One export is freedom. Freedom everywhere is in our national best interest. So our foreign policy priority is first to protect our citizens and national interests at home and abroad, which means expanding the export of freedom. Otherwise, we don't meddle.
6. The Iraq War: See Foreign Policy, above.
7. The War on Terror: See Foreign Policy, above.
8. National Defense: We're the only superpower. We have at least a 25-year warfighting technology lead on the rest of the world. We're in favor of increasing that to a 50-year lead. Why? See Foreign Policy, above.
9. Taxes: They're too high. We're in favor of a flat tax rate, which 100% of American will pay. There will be no exemptions, no breaks for the poor. We want everyone to be sorely interested in taxes; today, close to half our citizens pay no income taxes, so they're in favor of tax increases to pay for increased benefits to them. This will change under our administration. Businesses pay too many taxes; we mean to cut them at least in half to help stimulate more innovation, more entrepreneurism, more exports.
10. Entitlement Programs: Aside for veterans and certain first responders, there will be no federally-funded entitlement programs. This will save our national budget well over a trillion dollars annually.
11. Abortion: We don't know when human life begins, and neither does anyone else. So our position is that any unborn has the same rights to life as anyone who can read this platform.
12. Racism: Policies or programs that benefit or punish people differently at least partly because of skin color or declared race, is racism. Therefore ALL government policies, laws and programs that do that will be revoked.

Do you have other suggestions for this Dream Party Political Platform? Send them to the Ostrich Killer, and maybe we'll add them to this list. Now, back to that coffee pot . . .